50 Shades

50 shades of shimmering, glassy blue from azure to iceberg was the North Sea off Aldeburgh today, and you can't often say that. Its default colour is a steely, muddy, inhospitable grey, but this afternoon the sun shone and there was no wind, a temperate condition that brings out the best in the ocean. I walked briskly for about half an hour before the film (The Wild) and almost everyone I passed smiled at me; two or three couples added a Good Afternoon. I wasn't even doing my Big Walk, which I hit upon after one very sad day when passers-by completely ignored me. The best way to take the air if you're out alone, no matter how defeated you are feeling, is to look positive. This involves an extroverted swinging of the arms slightly away from the body, tilting the chin up in the air, and smiling with pure pleasure even if your heart is drowning in tears. Look as if you're having one hell of a time, and everyone will want to be your friend. Today I was animated simply because the day was so lovely. It just goes to show though: how you present yourself to the world is how the world will respond to you. It's never too late to make a better impression.

I'm wondering if I'm allergic to my woodburner. I've had a persistent cough for several weeks, and it seems to be worse in the evenings. I was told that burning old fencing releases arsenic into the air, and I've noticed that my kindling has clearly been treated at some stage. Am I slowly poisoning myself in my own sitting room, watching Anne Boleyn's head roll as I succumb to a cruel deterioration myself? I think I'll stop using that kindling and start on another load which is just virgin pine.

The film was very good though not as utterly brilliant as the book. Reese Witherspoon went through the motions of discovering that she couldn't even lift her packed rucksack off the floor, but then proceeded to set off in a jaunty way that belied the excessive weight. She barely mentioned it again, though it dominates the book. But that's just nitpicking, taking realism to extremes. It's an uplifting story of a gutsy girl who faces her demons and comes through. I like a good struggle, one person pitting themselves against the harshest of conditions, and prevailing. Just as long as it's not me.