Pants

I am the proud if somewhat bemused owner of 31 pairs of knickers. This might seem excessive, but think of it, I could go on holiday for 124 days without having to wash any smalls - you can wear them the right way on, back to front, inside out and inside out back to front, simples. I didn't set out to own 31 pairs. I'm a big fan of the Sloggi, the big Sloggi, up to the waist, passion killers, nice snug fit. I always get a size 14 though I'm a 10 because they shrink a bit at first, and it's nice to have some give. They cost £8 a pair and they are good quality but they don't last. Come the day when you are pulling them up in a hurry and your hand goes through the fabric. Which was why I rejoiced when I saw a cheap substitute in The Factory Shop where I had gone to try and find some Marigold gloves - Waitrose only do their own brand now, and they're rubbish. I passed the underwear displays spotting boxes which looked like Sloggis and lo! inside were the identical item for only £2 a pair! Box of four, £8. I bought five, just in case they stop doing them, or get wise to their ridiculous cheapness. So far I can't tell the difference apart from the rear gusset seam which you can slightly feel; Sloggis have near-invisible seams. Add the new ones to the 11 pairs I already had and you have 31. It should be 32 but one of the originals has vanished mysteriously. Whose house did I leave it in? So with my new-found abundance of pants I can go for much longer without doing the washing too. Sorted.