Suffering

I had hoped that Hugo's swollen foot and leg might have been back to normal size today but alas not, and so we took the well-worn track to the vets. He's been so brave, uncomplaining and obliging as always, with just that sad, suffering look to remind you that all is not well. Yesterday evening the two of us curled up on the sofa in the sitting room where the woodburner kept us cosy and snug, and it was nearly 10 before he made a move towards the back door. Nearly a minute later, and I exaggerate not, he finished peeing. His courage and forebearance are extraordinary, his bladder cast iron. This morning he had breakfast in bed, his bowl placed on the kitchen sofa beside him where he had made his nest. He was so grateful, so appreciative, it would make your heart bleed. He still couldn't put any weight pn the back leg, and so we made an appointment to see Keiran, who thinks his Achilles tendon is damaged, maybe even snapped. Tomorrow he will go back to be sedated and x-rayed, and treated accordingly. In the meantime he was given an anti-inflammatory jab and a painkilling one which hurt him so much he cried and cried. Was having children like this? How did I survive?

I'm so poorly

And so we're home again where I'm praying the oil won't run out before a refill arrives. The day is dank and gloomy, a shock after the bright, sunny period we've been enjoying, and somehow it feels more cold than it really is. Hugo has a towel wrapped across him, partly to stop him licking his wounds and partly to make him feel cossetted. Tomorrow we'll know the worst. Whatever the outcome, I think his days of running freely on our walks in the fields are over. It will change both of our lives dramatically. But we can't go through this again or something worse might happen next time.

I can't believe how shattered I feel by these events. All I want to do is sleep too. It's never easy to watch something in your care suffer, but my coping mechanism seems to have weakened over the years. I'd better toughen up. This trusting little creature is relying on me.