Surrendering

Last night I coughed continuously from 9pm until 3am when I finally swallowed a combination of ibuprofen, sleeping tablet and half a valium, and then I slept. I was so exhausted by then I thought I would never be able to rest, and my ribs and abdomen ached. Today I'm not too bad though my voice has virtually gone, but I'm not feeling too bad if you discount the occasional bout of boredom. Someone reminded me about vitamin C, 1000g in water, and I heard my brain go clunk, duh. Of course, the friend of the immune system, the enemy of flu. I quickly made some up, and I'll take it daily from now on. I also did a Waitrose online shop, so I'll be good for at least another week if necessary. The funny thing is that I've really slowed down now and am not agitating to be up and doing things. I'm just going with the flow, though when I woke after a sleep this afternoon and thought it must be evening only to find it was 3.40 I was shocked at just how slow slow can be. It's still light outside now. When will it be night?

I fancy macaroni cheese with a touch of horseradish. I've been wanting some for weeks since I saw an advert for this variation, but it's such a fag to cook. I often put in mustard, but this version sounds yummy. Grilled tomato and cheese, sticky pasta, runny sauce - is there ever a time when this is not compelling? But such fancies are transitory, and my mind has been on a higher plane. I've been engaged in an email conversation with a friendly physicist for some weeks, trying to discover what scientists believe is beyond the universe, beyond the known world. What came before the Big Bang, what lies beyond the beyond? His explanations of what is generally accepted have been clear and straightforward, a delight to read and ponder on. But I think the answer to this conundrum lies beyond science in Hinduism, which teaches that there is no beginning and no end to matter but a continual circle of movement from growth to equilibrium to decline to dissolution and back to growth. It involves reincarnation, which I've never had a problem with, reincarnation until the soul is purged of all previous sins and become enlightened. When I'm better I'm going to have a bash at that.